Empathy versus Sympathy

Always empathy and sympathy can be confused, but understanding the difference between the two can make us more professional.

Though empathy and sympathy can both be seen as inherent human tendencies, it is important to differentiate clearly between these two concepts. This can be detailed as follows:

 

 

Sympathy	Empathy
I am so sorry about your loss. How awful. Poor you. Let me do that for you. I feel so sad for you.	I feel your grief. I understand this has been a great loss for you. Can I help you with that? I feel and understanding your pain.

•         To express sympathy is to make it known that you are aware of another distress and that you have compassion for them.

•         To express empathy takes things a step further by not only expressing compassion but also the ability to experience the feelings of another person. Both words are used similarly and often interchangeably (incorrectly so) but differ subtly in their emotional meaning.

A more effective approach would be empathy which takes a position that does not allow for a hierarchy to form, but that enables everyone to feel on the same emotional level. This more effective form of communication is more professional.

Empathy like we learned in class is that we feel the clients’ feeling. As a professional counselor, we need to understand the clients’ feeling and use our skills to apply the intervention or theories to guide them. There are 3 steps and 1 formula for showing empathy:

Step 1: Create a safe and nurturing environment for the client. The area should be private and uncluttered with counselor as a calming presence.

Step 2: Encourage client to explore more information about his or her life circumstance. These include non-verbal cues such as open body posture and verbal cues such as “hmm,” “saya faham,” and “tell me more.”

Step 3: Apply active listening skills to the client’s words and observe non-verbal cues. Full attention needs to be focused on the client. Try to see where the clients’ background and what’s he or she is experiencing.

After the 3 steps, the counselor can accurately reflect the client’s feelings. Identify and clarify the key emotions of the client and focus on the client’s emotional feelings. The basic formula for displaying empathy:

You feel…(name the emotion expressed by the client)

because…..(name the thoughts, experiences, and behaviors the client has mentioned).

One may want to include a disclaimer beforehand such as “Do I tell this right” or “please tell me if this is accurate.”

This is a video link that I hope can help you more =)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

 

References:

Rogers, C. (1957) ‘The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic personality change’, Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21 (2): 95-103

dr.thea. (2010, May 06). For counselors, how to show empathy: 3 steps & 1 formula [Web log message]. Retrieved from http://drthea.com/for-counselors-how-to-show-empathy-3-steps-1-formula/